50 shades of CRAP

I like a good erotic book once in a while. When 50 shades of grey came out and became a huge bestseller, I thought that it would probably be a piece of crap. Nevertheless I think that to criticise something you need to try it at least once. So I bought the first book.

It is a piece of crap!

The story, the way of writing, the stupid characters that I couldn’t relate at all, the ludicrous sex scenes. I don’t understand all of the high around this book. I really don’t. The only reason that I can think of is that there are a lot of frustrated people out there, that realized for the first time that there isn’t only the missionary position. You can try different things. This was actually a good thing that this book brought on. However, the number of people who have already been admitted to the hospital due to strange attempts on BDSM is rather concerning.

My considerations about the first book:

– I want to be the one to spank Anna. Gimme that whip! She’s so annoying!

– That’s not BDSM! WTH?! That’s a guy with serious problems!

– The contract! GOD! The contract! How many words were spent on this? It took me longer to read this that my own damn work contract!

– Mr. Grey is a gorgeous wealthy business tycoon. AT 27! Really?!

– “Inner Goodness”. Need I say more?

– TAMPON! Because there is nothing sexier than a tampon.

I’ve just read the first book and it was enough. I didn’t see the movie, only some scenes and I hated the actors they chose. They might be good apart, but they seem terrible together.

Now seriously, if your into crappy porn literature, please check my suggestions on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Christie-Sims/e/B00CMBW1PC

Yep, it’s porn books with dinosaurs!!! My selection would be:

It’s as good as 50 Shades of Grey!

 

I ♥ Politics

It’s Election time in Portugal and instead of reading every candidate’s programm, the portuguese people decided to analyse the billboards from each party. And all hell broke loose!

Let’s analyse the billboards from Party PS:

(Translation: I’m unemployed since 2012, for the government I don’t exsit. Like me there are more than 220 000. Don’t play with the numbers, respect people”)

It turns out that this woman is not only employed but also part of the City Hall. She agreed to take the photo, but says that the words are not hers. First, who agrees to take photos without knowing where they will be used? Second, you signed or agreed verbally to release the rights of your photo. Third, are billboards suppose to have the photo and the text in agreement?!

Summary of the story: This party removed the billboards, even though they say that she had agreed to release her image, and apologized.

So this party decided to use new billboards:

(Translation: I’m unemployed for 5 years, without any social aid or support. Like me there are more than 353 000. Don’t play with the numbers, respect people”)

 

This is all very well, but 5 years ago, the party that was responsible was the exact the same one from this billboard. This means that this fine lady is unemployed because of them. Is it a Mea Culpa billboard?

This great party decided to do no wrong and put up a new billboard. The result:

 

(Translation: “It’s time for Trust”).

This is the most ridiculous billboard I’ve seen. Unless you’re advertising a New Age Church!

Who the hell cares about these billboards?! I will be more carefull on chosing the marketing agencies from now on. This one sucks.

What a difference a triangule makes

I don’t spend much time thinking of conspiracy theories. If we try hard we can actually see a conspiracy everywhere, and most the times, things are what they appear to be….and that’s all.

One of the conspiracy theories that I enjoy reading about is the one about the Illuminati. Practically everyone appears to be part of this selective group. So the recent ones that I read about are:

• Barack Obama – While posing for some photos, he was identified as doing the illuminati sign several times. Also he is responsible for taking decisions that benefited the group.
• George W. Bush – Again there were photos of him doing the sign. He was probably just scratching himself, but that’s just me….
• Beyoncé Knowles – She’s done the sign several times in her videos, and supposedly she’s done the hand sign in the Super Bowl. I think she was just asking for our help to rescue her from Jay- Z.
• Angelina Jolie- Apparently her mastectomy was some great plot to benefit the Illuminati. This decision to remove her breasts, even though she had no cancer, is seen as PR corporate campaign to influence opinion on the BRCA1 patent viability. Well geez, I just though that it was a PR campaign for herself, because she was feeling left out in Hollywood.
• Paris Hilton – There is a Illuminati tradition on her family. It is said that the children on te Hilton family were subducted to mind controlling tests. That actually explains a lot…

These are only a few examples. From what I could see EVERYONE is part of the Illuminati. Be careful not to do the following hand signs. If you do, you’re Illuminati but you don’t know it yet.

It’s actually better that you keep your hands in your pocket.

I’m a weirdo

I’m a weirdo.

There, i said it, I assume it with no problem whatsoever, I’m not a very normal person, and I like it.

And didn’t  Robert Fulghum said:

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”

So let’s all be weird. 🙂

And what’s really to be normal?

No one know’s. Everyone wants to be normal, but no one knows how.

But the truth is that there are some people that get to extremes in their weirdness, I don’t think I get there, but I still think that is better “never say never”.
And honestly I spent too way much time online and that normally brings me for some of the most amazing and horripilant stories out there… Should I share them?

Weirdness is a normal place

What’s normal to you is perplexing to me
What you see as strange is my daily routine
I watch all the glares you think I don’t see
I’d like you to stop, but I know you won’t leave

It’s sad, it’s a shame, it’s truly a waste
That your body remains, still taking up space
That you continue to breathe your spiteful breath
All the years of hatred-can you give it a rest?

You’re society, the’in-crowd’, the popular few
That fail to realize us outcasts are here too
So from your mouth when hatred is fleeing
Just remember: we’re not really being different, We’re just different beings.

By TheSilent Loudness

What exactly is weird? Weirdness is very subjective. Something that is weird for me may not be for you. I feel that nowadays we are all struggling to be weird, to be seen as different. So we do everything in our hands in order to shock society. What we don’t see is that when we are all trying to be different, we are actually being ordinary in our struggle to fit in and be noticed. So the ones that were seen as normal, become, then, the weird ones.

Saying that something or someone is weird is actually a judgment that we do based on our perception of what normal is. So don’t judge. You’re special in your own way and we are all different. We’re all weird and we’re all normal.