50 shades of CRAP

I like a good erotic book once in a while. When 50 shades of grey came out and became a huge bestseller, I thought that it would probably be a piece of crap. Nevertheless I think that to criticise something you need to try it at least once. So I bought the first book.

It is a piece of crap!

The story, the way of writing, the stupid characters that I couldn’t relate at all, the ludicrous sex scenes. I don’t understand all of the high around this book. I really don’t. The only reason that I can think of is that there are a lot of frustrated people out there, that realized for the first time that there isn’t only the missionary position. You can try different things. This was actually a good thing that this book brought on. However, the number of people who have already been admitted to the hospital due to strange attempts on BDSM is rather concerning.

My considerations about the first book:

– I want to be the one to spank Anna. Gimme that whip! She’s so annoying!

– That’s not BDSM! WTH?! That’s a guy with serious problems!

– The contract! GOD! The contract! How many words were spent on this? It took me longer to read this that my own damn work contract!

– Mr. Grey is a gorgeous wealthy business tycoon. AT 27! Really?!

– “Inner Goodness”. Need I say more?

– TAMPON! Because there is nothing sexier than a tampon.

I’ve just read the first book and it was enough. I didn’t see the movie, only some scenes and I hated the actors they chose. They might be good apart, but they seem terrible together.

Now seriously, if your into crappy porn literature, please check my suggestions on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Christie-Sims/e/B00CMBW1PC

Yep, it’s porn books with dinosaurs!!! My selection would be:

It’s as good as 50 Shades of Grey!

 

It was the government!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know how many conspiracy theories there’s out there?

And are they all conspiracy theories?

I admit that I love to read about them, but my God, some of them are just crazy, just some examples:

• Kennedy was killed by CIA (or a bunch of others theories)
• 9/11 (was planned by the US government)
• Area 51(the aliens… some many aliens conspiracies)
• Paul McCartney is dead
• Secret Societies are worlds government (The bilderberg club and the Illuminati anyone?)
• 
• The men was never on the moon
• Jesus was married with Mary Magdalene
• Holocaust was a myth
• AIDS was created by CIA

Is it weird that CIA and the US government are part of a bunch of these theories?

For me reading conspiracy theories is like when I get addicted to a TV series, I just jump from one theory to another, while having fun and trying to understand where everyone find this ideas.

Zombieland

I think that I already wrote in several posts that I’m kind of weird.

That being said I love zombie stories, there’s a book called “how to survive the zombie apocalypse”, that it’s on my shopping list since I’ve heard of it. It’s not that I believe that a zombie apocalypse can happen, but is better to be prepared,

I always loved disaster movies, the ones that show us what would happen if for some unknown or unreal reason the world is ending, I’m probably a bit morbid loving this movies.

But even while having a lot of interest in zombies I still haven’t started to watch “the walking dead”, I’ll probably going to start it this winter.

The truth is that the zombie theme is becoming a bit mainstream, more that a couple of series, we have so many movies, books, websites, that almost everyone already heard of zombies at least once.

I first knew of zombies trough the “28 days later” movie, since then it became an interesting theme for me.

I’ve made a test recently (yes there are numerous tests online to see how long will you survive it) It says that I’ll survive until the end, but something that I still don’t understand is what the hell is the end.

Is a zombie apocalypse  a real possibility?

I really don’t know, what I do know, it’s that nature has a way to defend itself, and we, as humans, are destroying it step by step, if it’s a zombie apocalypse or some kind of global scale natural disaster something will happen,probably not in our lifespan, but it will happen.

And if you think about it, we’re all zombies already.

How to kill a mockingZombie….

I’ve been doing some research , and from what I gather, Zombies are undead creatures that would like to make a meal out of us. Undead would be someone who is technically dead but behaves as if alive (Pfeee I prefer Vampires, they are sexier).

There is actually a lot of literature around this topic, which I think it’s a bit concerning….(Try Zombiepedia: http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Zombie_Wiki)

In my quest to learn more from Zombies, I’ve found this website that gives you 5 scientific reasons for a Zombie Apocalypse could happen (yes! Scientific!).

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

Before we start to analyze the Scientific Reasons, I got stuck on the first paragraph:

“We found out recently that if you try to leave a little kid in a graveyard late at night, he’ll freak out.”

How exactly did you found this out? I’m a little bit scared that they actually took a kid at night to a graveyard. Where were the parents? Are they Zombies? Did the Zombies eat his parents?!It goes on:

“Even if you offer to leave him a gun to protect himself”

Did you actually leave a kid in a graveyard alone at night with a GUN?! How old was the kid?! WTH?

Moving on……. Let’s get back to the APOCALYPSE, the scientific reasons disclosed in this website and several others are:

Brain Parasites – They can cause your personality to change and you become a bit crazy….but are you undead? No! So you’re not a zombie.

Neurotoxins –It’s a poison that affects the nerves. In some cases, doctors can be fooled to think that the patient is dead. Some toxins leave the person with no memory. Again…are you dead?! No!

The Real Rage Virus – there is a risk that I am repeating myself….but are you dead?! NO!

Neurogenesis – The idea is that you have re-grow brain cells, but something in the process gets screwed. So you are alive?! The answer is YES.

Nanobots – microscopic robots that are inserted in our brains, and can operate after the death of the host.… Ok I’ll give you this one.

Even though these are very good threats ( cof…cof…) why are we so afraid of Zombies? Just kill them! It’s not like they have superpowers!

Please stop leaving your kids at graveyards or I’ll be calling Child Protective Services. That’s all.

Streaming Thoughts…

To be honest I don’t even recognize most of the sites mentioned above. I’ve got Linkedin (which is quite useful)and a Facebook account where I post lyrics from musics no one cares and share videos no one wants to watch. And this is done rarely. I still get likes. I think people just like everything nowadays, just to make sure that I will like their stuff as well.

Things are getting out of control. We over communicate via Facebook or Twitter and we forget to socialize face to face. Put your phones down, turn off your computer and go hang out with friends………and come back and come read our blog. 🙂

Cultural Corner @ Fridays